I’m writing this letter to let you know that I am leaving you forever. We’ve been together on and off for years, and, let’s face it; things haven’t been good. When I met you, I was hopeful that you would be the one to make me happy, but it wasn’t long until things began to fall apart. I’ve always felt that you were too good for me, so I tried my best to change myself. When I failed to fit your perfect mould, you left me feeling alone, powerless and unworthy.
Each time I go back to you, you say that ‘this time will be different’, but it never is. In all of our years together, you’ve never given me what I needed. Like a withholding masochist you dangle the idea of fulfillment in front of me but always leave me wanting more. When we’re together it’s always about you, Diet, and there’s no room for me. How did I ever think that obsessing over you could make me happy? How did I survive all those years, as you fed me poison?
You should know that I’ve met someone else. His name is Lifestyle. He’s helped me see that I don’t need to deprive myself to be happy. He makes me want to do better, not because I’m flawed, but because I’m worth caring for. Lifestyle has helped me to be patient with myself, and never deprive myself of the essentials; nourishment and love. Even though I’m far from perfect, I am happier and healthier than I’ve ever been. Lifestyle gives me everything that I need and more.
Farewell and Good Riddance,
It is not about the number on the scale, how many calories you consume, or how many minutes you workout on the treadmill: True wellness is not a numbers game. By focusing on such measurements and expecting to be well, you treat the symptom while ignoring the cause.
I’ve come to realize that any kind of eating disorder, whether it’s over-eating, never-eating, or some combination of both, shares a common perpetrator; a lack of self-love. I’m against the diet mentality because it often does not address the root of the issue. A lot of people go into a diet with the drive of desperation. They can’t stand how they look and they’re desperate to reach their goal. While this may be seen as a motivating force to some, pursuits led by fear and self-hatred rarely end in happiness. Those pursuits usually lead people to diets that are damaging and deprive themselves of proper nutrition.
When people begin a diet without first addressing the emotional component of health, they set themselves up for failure or worse yet an unhealthy complex about food. They are willing to do anything to be thin, including depriving themselves of proper nutrition and ingesting toxic carcinogens like artificial sweeteners or diet pills that supposedly will help them lose weight.
I’m all about eating healthy, but I am not one for deprivation. The way I see it, focus should be less on calorie counting and more on mind-management. What are you telling yourself every day? Do you love yourself? Do you even like yourself? You may say that you want to be well, but if deep down you feel that you don’t deserve to be well, then you never will be. No diet in the world can help you unless you are willing to do the mental work to love yourself as you are right now.
“Disordered eating goes hand in hand with disordered thinking.” Lynn Crilly
“It has nothing to do with willpower or discipline. Whatever we are trying to release in our lives is just a symptom, an outer effect. Trying to eliminate the symptom without working on dissolving the cause is useless. The moment we release our willpower or discipline, the symptoms crops up again.” Louise Hay